Hate me, Love me
by NiceAsPie
Summary: Why does Harry hate Draco? There are a million reasons why. So why, when confronted, can Draco not say any? Slash, written in the first person. Rating just to be safe.


Disclaimer: Not mine you dolt! ;P

'I meant every word I've ever said because I'm Harry freaking Potter!' I cry, angry for some reason.

He looks at me, something strange in his green eyes. Something I've never seen there before.

'Not every word.' he says.

I realize my hands are clenched into fists and I want to punch him more than I've ever wanted anything. He blinks.

'Draco.' he says.

Not Malfoy. Not ferret-face. Nor any of the other insults he's come up with over the years. Just Draco. And it's so perfect it breaks my heart.

'Potter.' I say, curling up my nose in an expression of what I hope is distaste, even though I can feel the tears burning the backs of my eyes and clogging my throat.

Hate me, Potter, you have to hate me. I can't deal with this if you don't hate me. There is a flash of hurt in his eyes. And I am happy about this, Merlin forgive me, I am happy. But the next words out of his mouth are the final nails in my coffin, so to speak.

'I never meant it when I said I hated you.'

His voice is so soft, slightly hoarse, as his green eyes sparkle with unshed tears. My hands are trembling now, not with the need to punch him, but with the need to grab him, hold him close. But I can't. I know I can't.

'You had to have.' I whisper, so soft he can barely hear me.

'Why?' he asks, tilting his head to the side.

'Because…because… There are a million reasons why!'

And suddenly he's standing too close, tracing a finger down my cheek – no, wiping a tear I didn't know I shed.

'Then why can you not say one?'

I want to tell him to leave me alone, but my bottom lip is quivering and I'm sure if I speak the tears will come thick and fast. I don't care that I am standing in the corridor, basically chest-to-chest with Harry Potter, not yelling or fighting, just…standing. I swallow heavily. He grabs my wrist, gently, his fingers circling it completely, and pulls me back into an alcove as he hears someone coming. His friends.

'How do you lose Harry?' Hermione asks.

Ron looks abashed as he simply shrugs. I look at Harry, eyebrows raised. He shrugs a little as well, but says nothing, and I realize he is hiding from them. When they are gone I finally ask the question.

'Why?'

'They watch me too close…like I'm going to hurt someone.' he whispers.

'You? Hurt someone?' I ask incredulously, accompanied by a soft laugh.

'I hurt you, don't I?' he asks.

I have nothing to say to that, because it's the truth. And he knows this.

'The only thing I don't understand is why. Why do I hurt you so?'

The breath catches in my throat as I look deep into his eyes, thinking about why he hurts me.

'Because I love you.' I find myself saying.

And once I've said that, I can't stop. Everything comes rushing out.

'I love you, and not the idea of you, as so many do, and it's ridiculous, really, because you are Potter, Harry Potter, saviour of the whole Wizarding World, and I am…I'm just me, just…a traitor to both sides. And it hurts so much to know that you don't love me, or even particularly like me.'

He's looking at me like I'm an idiot now, and I can feel my face turning red. I bite the inside of my cheek and look away from him, but then his strong, calloused fingers are under my chin, forcing my head towards him.

'I told you, I don't mean everything I say.' he whispers breathily.

And then his mouth is on mine, gentle and yet, at the same time, insistent. I feel myself melting beneath his touch, a soft whimper escaping as I part my lips for him, almost begging him to take control. He does, happily, a smile twisting his lips as we kiss. I press myself tighter against him, forgetting myself, only knowing his touch, his smell, his taste. As he pulls back I draw oxygen into my burning lungs, but still clutch at him as though for dear life. I know I am lost now, lost to him. Merlin, how I've wanted to hate him. But I can't, not when I love him so much.

'Harry…' I murmur, my lips moving against his throat, the first time I've called him by his name since we met all those years ago.

And it's right.


End file.
